YOU MIGHT BE AN EDUCATOR IF....

....a little "end of the year" humor for my fellow teachers!

Jeff Foxworthy on Educators:

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be
equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who
says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your newborn
because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high
blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if
it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool'
should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils
will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge
to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their
behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between
August and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a
government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED
to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people
refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to
check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate
the UHAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be
available in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could
think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring
uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be
misunderstood by the public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly
answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a
parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent
antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that
matter!

YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for
this?' have ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and
seconds are left in the school year!