YEP.....

This September 6, it will be two years since they left us..... we spent an afternoon with Raoul's parents a few months ago and went in his room, looked through his things (saw things we'd given him), and it was strange but the room still SMELLED like him. I saw this photo today as I was browsing around.... I have tears in my eyes as I type this. it is still so hard to beleive he is gone.

SAYING GOODBYE TO RAOUL.... AGAIN

This is posted on YouTube, a tribute to the four friends who died in the car accident in Timisoara. If you watch, youțll see Raoul and all his smiles as well as the burning car they died in.

We spent the afternoon with Raoulțs parents.... said goodbye. We got to go in his old bedroom and look at his things. It was sad and sweet, all together.

RAOUL'S MEMORIAL

I met Raoul's parents last Saturday at the cemetary in Timisoara. They were able to get a beautiful marble memorial for Mirela and him. Here are some pictures of it and of them.

THANKFUL FOR THE MOMENT

.......found this tonight and it floods me with memories and I am thankful for that moment and that guy and the opportunity. God has given us joy and tragedy in this country and entwined it into our hearts.

PERMANENT ERROR

I sent an e-mail to the group of students we know in Timisoara today.... I never had the heart to remove Raoul, Mirela and Cristi from the e-mail list. Somehow, keeping them on it made it all seem less real.... today, Yahoo sends me a message saying it is a "permanent error" to send anything to Raoul's e-mail anymore. I guess yahoo, or someone, closed it out. A permanent error. A very uncomfortable way of saying it, under the circumstances. Interestingly, in God's economy, it was not a permanent error, but a permanent part of His sovereign plan.... now, one day when we get back to RO, I'll have to get up the courage to take the three of them out of my cell phone .....or then again, maybe not. It's not hurting anything.

On the same note, I'm amazed at how the "wave of grief" will close in and sneak up at such unexpected times. Today at church, the band's lead singer had "Romanian hair" and a guitar around his neck and he was about Raoul's age and it hit me. That could be him.

HE HAD BOTH

"More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent." Billy Sunday

CHARACTER

A blogger named Doug shared this is a comment on the "telephone post" below. Amazing. Some of you know how much I love a good quotation. Thanks, Doug. I appreciate your time to share this with me. You never met my friend, but it says a lot about why so many of us feel the sadness we feel.

"The only thing that walks back from the tomb with the mourners and refuses to be buried is the character of a man. This is true. What a man is survives him. It can never be buried." -J.R. Miller

GOOD INTENTIONS

I had good intentions to send this photo to Raoul to prove to him we'd actually made it to the Black Sea back in August. My cell phone was showing "Mamaia," which is a beach town. Cells here show the name of where you are, all the way down to the neighborhood (do they do this over there.... been away too long). Anyway, never sent it.... didn't even talk to him about it. I had a list of things I observed about it all I wanted to run by him. I ran a lot by him. Not being all morbid, just "cleaning out the emotional closet" I guess.

IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS

like seeing Raoul's phone number in my cell phone....

or remembering yesterday that he had a pair of my shorts and we'd laugh that he'd stolen them....

or the t-shirt and baseball cap I've sent all over Romania for him, finally got it to the right town, and he still never had it and I kept seeing him and didn't have them and now....

or all those t-shirts I keep seeing in photos of him that we gave him...

or Mirela's high school graduation picture that she put on our refrigerator a few months ago...

or just thinking "I'll call Raoul real quick" and then remembering I can't

JUST FOUND THIS ONE....

RAOUL & MIRELA

RAOUL

This photo has Raoul and Mirela, taken at our place in Timisoara a while back


About a thousand times this weekend, I've thought about this e-mail and how do I sum up this experience with Raoul in one paragraph? I realized I can't. If you know me well, you've heard his name over and over and I realize you'll continue to hear it. Bear with me.

My life in Romania is woven with a thread of him in almost every part. Timiosoara (our hometown here) is a place where every street, building or event flashes memories of "one more thing" about him. He was larger than life and filled the room. Never a dull moment and always ready for the next great thing. After the wake for him and Mirela on Saturday, all these former students we know were there trying to decide what to do next. I realized and said, "the problem is Raoul's not here to tell us what to do. He always knew what the next step was."

My heart is broken. I am still not completely believing this, although I know it is real. In life, if we're fortunate, we get a handful of people who we love deeply and with good reason. I got that in him. We buried one of my best friends yesterday. II always said, we were the odd couple. If you've been to Romania and was with us, you know that. It has (thankfully) been a very long time since death has slammed me so hard and harshly. We lost 3 dear friends.

Everyone is devastated. But, in a beautiful way, there was so much love evident. Lots of people freely grieving the lose of them. Right now, I can't say much else. Thanks for the dozens of e-mails to me for encouragement. Thanks more for the prayers. I knew there were 2 things I had to do. I had to see his parents and I had to bury him. Both were very hard but very important.

At the wake in the cemetery, I had my back turned, but Lisa saw Raoul's daddy notice me. He came running to get me. He grabbed me and held on and we cried together. He took me to the casket and to Raoul's' mother. In a broken, mumbling, teary Romanian, he keep telling "...If something happened to Raoul, Todd has to be here." This will probably define our friendship for me, that his parents wanted to see me this much. I'm so thankful they know I love him.

We took a night train last night, sleep a little (so the girls could sleep a lot), sent them to school and we've napped all morning. I'll be back in touch soon.

ABSOLVIRE (GRADUATION IN ROMANIAN)

Raoul graduated from university today, from the history department. Here are a few photos of the big day. The cute little girl is his girlfriend Mirela and the cute little woman is his mom!

Here is Raoul's Dacia with me behind the wheel and Mikie in the backseat.... you'd really need to have lived here to completely appreciate this moment!

RAOUL'S 22nd BIRTHDAY

Mirela (Raoul's girlfriend), Raoul and Lisa after our birthday dinner. Like most places here, you simply eat outside in the summer where it is cooler. Before dinner, his mom served us cake at their place and we all sang "La Multi Ani," the Romanian version of "Happy Birthday." 

This is the outside of a great little Chinese place here in the city... we went there tonight for Raoul's birthday. 

THE BATHS OF HERCULES

....forgot to tell you about Baile Herculane! I've been itching to go to one of the mineral baths here. I finally got to one last weekend for an hour or so. Baile Herculane is a resort town famous for their mineral and sulphur baths. There are dozens of hotels that provide these things. Raoul and I slipped into a hot water pool and "chilled" for a while at Hotel Roman. Nothing like it! Check it out (they have it in English) at: http://www.baile-herculane.ro/. The place is famous for having been where Hercules went ...you know, in mythology. Romania is loaded with Roman legends ...I mean , we're even named after the Romans. History says they conquered these lands and brought civilization here. Ok, your Romanian history lesson for the day!

STUDENT VENTURE WINTER CAMP 2006 

SCHOOLS, COOKIES AND NEIGHBORS

Ahhh ...Friday! Today, I had Romanian class (always) and then I went to high school in a village called Lovrin. It's about 40 kilometers from here, but actually on the same street we live on. I spoke to a 9th grade class. They were interested, but it was Friday at 2:00 and well, we all fade out by then don't we?? It looks like we're making a plan to go back after Christmas holidays. The teacher wants me to come regularly so I'm planning to go every other week to teach the same class. This way, I can see them 2 to 3 times a month for the full semester. We'll be able to teach with a more specific plan ...focusing on life's choices, marriage, future plans, etc. ...all with an emphasis on knowing God's plan. I really love doing that and it is an important part of why I'm here. Get this ....a guy walked into the teacher's lounge in the small school in this little village and ...quess what?? he's the PE teacher and lives in our building! Small world!

Lisa and the girls are traveling out the the village of Gearmata (with Andreea, our babysitter) to get Andreea's smaller sister, Madalena. The "5 girls" will bake Christmas cookies tonight. Will everyone spend the night? Time will tell. I need to go run tonight ...planning ahead for the cookies I know I will eat.

Tomorrow, our next-door-neighbors are coming over "to take a coffee,"....that is what we call it here. They have a small daughter (Mara) and are very kind. We've been getting to know them over the year or so and are returning the favor of having visited them recently. It is important to us to establish relationships with our neighbors.