Monday, December 15, 2008


Lately I've been thinking about how we communicate with others. Real stuff, not just the weather and all. Also, I'm thinking about how we decide what we'll tackle in a friendship or relationship and what we'll let slide for the sake of normalcy and quiet. I've been trained through experience and education to believe that we're to wait until people acknowledge they need help. At that point, we can offer assistance. I think it has a lot of merit, however, I wonder sometimes.

What do you do when you see a real problem and know a very valid solution or suggestion for it but the problem's owner isn't aware the problem exists at all? What do you do when you see great potential in someone who is being held back because of a blindspot they have that totally are not aware exists? What do you do when you know there are three sentences that would change things except for the hostility and defensiveness that you'd receive because you've been misundestood? How do you decide to say it anyway?

I know someone who is talented, capable and gifted by the Lord in the area they work. They are very able and very dedicated. But, at least as I see it, they are lacking in crucial "people skills" to really be successful.... short with people, makes others defensive, questions people and cause others to not want to interact with them all. I believe they'll never be able to really be used by God in what He's gifted them to do without these skills. I see it. I know it. Others know it. But they don't see it or know it.

Do you wait on them? This has really been perplexing me. A friend today defined it as "deception," when someone is being blinded to a crucial area of truth they cannot see. When the enemy has so closed their eyes, they only see their own "competence" and nothing else. I was surprised, pleasantly, that that this person's well-being mattered so much. I've pondered it a lot. I really care what happens because I see talent and potential that the enemy will twist in the shadow of that little bit of darkness.

It's all about truth, isn't it. Maybe it is really about me having the courage to say, "I really admire your ability and it is clear God has gifted you. Over the years, I've known many people it your shoes and there was one common thing I've seen in all of the ones who were successful. Could I share that with you?"


BigRoof said...

to me, the issue is first, why do I care. can I love this person just as they are even if they never change. then, if this won't really minister to them, can I keep my mouth shut and not hold a grudge or have it come out sideways. can I be at peace with other people's problems that cause me problems.

I find that helps me. For me, if I have something to say that a person NEEDS to hear but cannot hear --if I feel I can hear the holy spirit, I try to wait on the Holy Spirit's timing and wording.

then sometimes, I find the Holy Spirit may direct me to say what might make the person mad or maybe even keep my mouth shut.

I have found it important to ask myself why, what motivated this person to act that way. I may not have ever acted that way but I have probably acted out of a similar motivation. When I did what was the wrong goal I was after. then I know how to ask
God to forgive the person and break off of them the wrong motivation.

I'll be praying for you and hope the Lord ministers

todd long said...


Thanks! The Lord gave me an answer at 4:30 this morning, then I awoke later and read your comment. It seemed to confirm what I heard. I'm to stay out of it and love them anyway!