The title sums up where I am .....lately I've had a lot of "feelings" that have been floating around. I know that feelings are not the best barometer of reality, but sometimes they take over for a while. What have I been feeling?
Well, let's see: I've been feeling jealous - I know that is not something we're supposed to feel (or at least admit) but it is real. I have been jealous of people who seem to have lives moving on ahead - as if I had my ticket to the train, got on it, was asked to step off, and it left the station with me on the platform. I've felt left behind and I've asked myself, "why didn't I get to have a career after being a missionary?"
I've been feeling disappointed - I think it is rooted in a simple question, one I know that is probably wrong from the onset, "why was our faithfulness not rewarded?"
I've been feeling cheated - wondering "why, if I have so much to offer as everyone else seems to think, I have little areas to offer it?"
I'm making it and heard a great sermon today at a church we've been visiting that addressed a lot of this. But I'm still wondering.....