Sunday, February 06, 2011

THE VERY TINY BOX

I've become very aware, recently, that God has indeed put me into a very tiny box. I've always tended to live rather large, most of it being my personality. I am social, I like people, places, and experiences. I enjoy interacting and being connected. As we move towards finishing our second year "back home" in the USA, I am so sure that He has put me where I am for a real reason.

Flashback: for many years, we've been living in Romania, traveling places (planes, trains and automobiles quite literally), seeing things, meeting so many people! I love that life, I must admit. It appeals to my personality. I get energy from people and events. But the Lord has some things He wants to do in me. And to do them, He needs me still and in one place.

Flash forward: we live in the house where I grew up. How much more full-circle can you get! I am a stay-at-home dad to three daughters. I am forever driving girls to school, to friends, to church, picking them up at school, at their grandmother's house. I cook supper. I wash and dry and fold clothes. I let the dog and the cat in and out of the house a million times a day. I watch Dora the Explorer (too much). I let them sleep with me when they are scared. I monitor how much TV we watch and who can use the Internet and why. I put band aids on Sofia's countless boo-boos and I cry with Mikie and Emma as they say goodbye to their friend's mom who just died from cancer. My world is small.

My box is tiny. It has been decades since I lived in a box this small. I stopped fighting it a few months ago. I found contentment in my box. I found purpose there. I am here to answer questions. Explain things. Solve problems or stand by them while they try to solve them themselves.

God has me here to do some things. He's bonded my relationships with my girls. He's shown me it is not "what I do" but it is "who I am." He's shown me that I can do this job (the hardest one I've ever had) and He's shown Lisa she can do her job. We've reversed the roles and it was, and continues to be, His idea. We'd never have chosen it but now I would trade what He's accomplished.

My wish is to live in a larger box again. I long to board a plane again with my family to go see where God wants us to go. But, for now I am in my box. It's OK because there are two laundry baskets of clothes staring at me that need to be folded!

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